How to Find the Right Therapist

Finding and connecting with the right therapist is SO important. The relationship you have with your therapist has been cited in many studies as the most important component in doing this work. 

Because it’s 2022 and everyone and their mother is thinking about or going to therapy - there are tons of resources out there to support you. 

When you’re looking for therapists, there are a few good directories. But if you’re a person of color, kinky, wanting an LGBTQIA therapist, or any other specialty under the sun - there is likely a corresponding directory. If you need support - reach out to me. I’m happy to help connect you to resources.  Instagram is a great place to start as well. I love that you can find a therapist, look at their feed, and get to know them, and see how they show up as therapists. Some helpful hashtags are #therapistsofinstagram #therapist or you can get specific about location and search… #therapistsoflosangeles etc. 

Before your consultation - you’re going to want to get clear on a few things for yourself. What are you going to therapy for? Are you going to therapy to heal childhood trauma, learn how to manage your anxiety, unpack your relationship with money, or help you put together some future goals for yourself? Getting clarity on this will be helpful. Do you want your therapist to feel like a sweet, adoring mother or a therapist that is going to challenge you/be more confrontational? Do you want a therapist that has lived experience with the issues that you’re working on? It’s okay to want to work with someone that knows what it’s like to be a  black woman or a mother, or be queer, or get sober. 

Don’t be afraid to shop around! I get calls all the time of people that are have therapists lined up to speak to and I celebrate that! Most therapists offer a free, 15-30 consultation to talk, ask questions and see if you connect and if y’all are a good fit. I recommend speaking to 3-5 therapists and see who you feel most connected to. 

SHOP AROUND

Don’t be afraid to shop around! I get calls all the time of people that have therapists lined up to speak to and I CELEBRATE that! Most therapists offer a free, 15-30 consultation to talk, ask questions, and see if you connect and if y’all are a good fit. I recommend speaking to 3-5 therapists and see who you feel most connected to. 

MONEY 

Consider your budget and how much you can and are willing to invest in your mental health. Will you be using insurance? Some therapists offer sliding-scale sessions. Therapists are used to talking about these things don’t feel weird talking shop about money. 

HAVE THEY DONE THEIR OWN THERAPY? 

Honestly - this is a big one for me. Whether I’m looking for a therapist or considering a referral - I want to know if they have done their own work. Do they know what its like to be on this side of the screen and share your darkest, most inner intimate thoughts? Don’t be afraid to ask this question. 

TRUST YOUR GUT

And this comes with knowing what is fear and what is intuition. It’s normal to feel nervous when you’re talking to a new therapist, but try to listen in and tune in to how you feel with them in the room/on zoom.

Hope this is a good starting point for those of you wanting to get into therapy. Please reach out and let me know if you have any questions, need support. Also. if there are any other gems that you’d like to share with the community on how to find a therapist or interesting questions to ask, drop them below in the comments. 


Sara Povey

Co-Founder | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Clinical Director

Sara’s work is grounded in neuroscience and attachment research. She has studied trauma in depth from both Somatic (body) and Polyvagal (nervous system) perspectives and offers EMDR for anxiety, self-esteem, and trauma.

She is a guide for people on the journey into themselves. In addition to individual therapy and couples counseling, Sara leads an 8-week, weekly, virtual workshop for women who want to get curious about their relationship with alcohol and be more intentional about how, when, and why they drink.